Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
