I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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