White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
