My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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