just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize