no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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