woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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