Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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