How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
