Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
