Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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