Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Randomize
