Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
