so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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