I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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