my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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