dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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