Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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