hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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