I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
