You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
