Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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