Operation Purity has been aborted
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
