she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.