Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited

(1-214): View more from Texas

I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

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(214): I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited (1-214): I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope http://tfl.nu/jd28

Replies (93) Good night (1619) Bad night (7599)
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(239): View more from Florida

So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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(239): So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life. http://tfl.nu/5out

Replies (14) Good night (5256) Bad night (894)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.

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(803): Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door. http://tfl.nu/090e

Replies (29) Good night (2337) Bad night (7187)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.

(440): View more from Ohio

Honestly, what else do I have going for me?

(216): View more from Ohio

You make a valid point.

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(216): Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets. (440): Honestly, what else do I have going for me? (216): You make a valid point. http://tfl.nu/ba8r

Replies (22) Good night (1780) Bad night (3902)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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(256): I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with. http://tfl.nu/f7yk

Replies (11) Good night (6109) Bad night (1326)
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(802): View more from Vermont

i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

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(802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/lstw

Replies (13) Good night (4608) Bad night (1419)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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(403): I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse http://tfl.nu/d3ev

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(631): View more from New York

I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

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(631): I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me http://tfl.nu/qlti

Replies (13) Good night (5473) Bad night (1357)
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(217): View more from Illinois

she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...

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(217): she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening... http://tfl.nu/ap34

Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (3294)
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(513): View more from Ohio

you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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(513): you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore. http://tfl.nu/8tgi

Replies (8) Good night (2770) Bad night (735)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

(406): View more from Montana

Midwestern nice.

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(608): He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!" (406): Midwestern nice. http://tfl.nu/grmw

Replies (10) Good night (3174) Bad night (939)
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(518): View more from New York

Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.

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(518): Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk. http://tfl.nu/lrcf

Replies (4) Good night (1239) Bad night (671)
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(408): View more from California

I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.

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(408): I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/v3fg

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?

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(715): Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success? http://tfl.nu/ml6u

Replies (0) Good night (672) Bad night (315)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

But there's never enough margarita money.

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it

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(321): But there's never enough margarita money. (1-321): This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it http://tfl.nu/kuzp

Replies (0) Good night (692) Bad night (360)

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