Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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