Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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