I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize