now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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