I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
