I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
