How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize