Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
