if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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