batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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