could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
