ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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