I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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