We're facebook friends in real life
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
