i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.