Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?