He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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