clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
