Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
