i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't deserve a penis
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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