the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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