At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's blow job season.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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