I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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