If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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