U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
