I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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