I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize