Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
