After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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