was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
