I understand Curling. That high.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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