Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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