the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
