He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
