yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
