Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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