she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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