I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
one two three fourrrrnication!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
